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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Poblem's not solved and i gez it never will be.. Im not who you think i am - which means by the way you put things, they're not wat im doing.. I dont see anything wrong with hanging out with my frenz, my buddies.. Yes, some of them are guys.. But so what? Like you dont have girlfrenz? I will never be able to make you understand that you are outta your mind.. Why restrict me from things when ive done nothing to you? Have i kissed, flirted, frenched, or two timed you? I even have to keep my problems to myself and u blab yours all away.. Did i throw my anger at you when you did? Now the impression ur frenz, and worst your mum have on me is totally negative, how am i gonna face her? From the start, i cant even open up to her coz none of my exes parents liked me, and i thought, that's it.. She wont like me.. Juz when i found frenz who helped me in the greatest way possible, i cant confide in them nor be with them coz somehow you seem to want me to "spend lesser time with them" in case one hits on me.. For your info, the world doesnt evolve around you alone, my dear.. Stop thinking, stop doubting and learn to trust me coz a relationship without trust is like a broken vase - the pieces are seperated and its hard to glue them back together.. (It's ok i you dont understand this part..) How wud you feel if my parents had the wrong impression of you? your mum wants a daughter in law who's noble, intelligent, smart, sophisticated, matured and what nots.. Im just a girl who loves her music and all she ever does is play the drums, guitar, piano to find tunes for her songs.. I dont have a future in any university and i dont think your mum likes the fact that music is my life.. I gez she doesnt like the fact that her son's gf is a musician and there's no future for one? Or that she's a punk who loves putting on thick black eyeliner one her eyes and doesnt dress like a "daddy's girl".. Im sorry im not cut out to be a doctor or lawyer so that i can earn big bucks for the family.. Why cant people juz accept me for who i am.. Is it so wrong to be myself? I love to sing and write my music.. That's me and there's only one of me.. So wat if i dress like a punk.. Have you seen wat's inside of me? I used to be so quiet and shy like a little mouse.. I used to have inferior complex and have limited frenz.. Even when i had frenz, i was left out and felt that nobody needed me.. Now i told myself to mix around more.. To make more frenz and forget the inferior complexity.. Do u know that its bad to feel out of the box? So you want me to feel that way? I thought u wanted what was best for me..Now im not who you think i am.. Youve seen me with my frenz and all i do with them is talk, laugh, joke and be there for each other.. That's wat frenz do.. juz like what you do with ur buddies.. It's the same for me, juz that there's guys as my buddies too.. Maybe you'd never understand.. Are we gonna continue being miserable all our lives like this?I gez i wont be able to face ur mum anymore.. And for us, i juz hope youd understand.. im not doing the things you think i am.. You keep saying, from a few months ago that itll happen.. That some ass wud hit on me.. Well see, it hasnt happened.. If there really was such a thing, it wud have happened long ago.. So reflect on ur thinking and get a life.. I really want things to get better so pls understand.. 5:40 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Poblem's not solved and i gez it never will be.. Im not who you think i am - which means by the way you put things, they're not wat im doing.. I dont see anything wrong with hanging out with my frenz, my buddies.. Yes, some of them are guys.. But so what? Like you dont have girlfrenz? I will never be able to make you understand that you are outta your mind.. Why restrict me from things when ive done nothing to you? Have i kissed, flirted, frenched, or two timed you? I even have to keep my problems to myself and u blab yours all away.. Did i throw my anger at you when you did? Now the impression ur frenz, and worst your mum have on me is totally negative, how am i gonna face her? From the start, i cant even open up to her coz none of my exes parents liked me, and i thought, that's it.. She wont like me.. Juz when i found frenz who helped me in the greatest way possible, i cant confide in them nor be with them coz somehow you seem to want me to "spend lesser time with them" in case one hits on me.. For your info, the world doesnt evolve around you alone, my dear.. Stop thinking, stop doubting and learn to trust me coz a relationship without trust is like a broken vase - the pieces are seperated and its hard to glue them back together.. (It's ok i you dont understand this part..) How wud you feel if my parents had the wrong impression of you? your mum wants a daughter in law who's noble, intelligent, smart, sophisticated, matured and what nots.. Im just a girl who loves her music and all she ever does is play the drums, guitar, piano to find tunes for her songs.. I dont have a future in any university and i dont think your mum likes the fact that music is my life.. I gez she doesnt like the fact that her son's gf is a musician and there's no future for one? Or that she's a punk who loves putting on thick black eyeliner one her eyes and doesnt dress like a "daddy's girl".. Im sorry im not cut out to be a doctor or lawyer so that i can earn big bucks for the family.. Why cant people juz accept me for who i am.. Is it so wrong to be myself? I love to sing and write my music.. That's me and there's only one of me.. So wat if i dress like a punk.. Have you seen wat's inside of me? I used to be so quiet and shy like a little mouse.. I used to have inferior complex and have limited frenz.. Even when i had frenz, i was left out and felt that nobody needed me.. Now i told myself to mix around more.. To make more frenz and forget the inferior complexity.. Do u know that its bad to feel out of the box? So you want me to feel that way? I thought u wanted what was best for me..Now im not who you think i am.. Youve seen me with my frenz and all i do with them is talk, laugh, joke and be there for each other.. That's wat frenz do.. juz like what you do with ur buddies.. It's the same for me, juz that there's guys as my buddies too.. Maybe you'd never understand.. Are we gonna continue being miserable all our lives like this?I gez i wont be able to face ur mum anymore.. And for us, i juz hope youd understand.. im not doing the things you think i am.. You keep saying, from a few months ago that itll happen.. That some ass wud hit on me.. Well see, it hasnt happened.. If there really was such a thing, it wud have happened long ago.. So reflect on ur thinking and get a life.. I really want things to get better so pls understand..
Reach my prismic soul.
The Girl
Eva Marie
aka Black Samara.
Hatefully Twenty-one.
Musician
Drummer
Vocalist
Writer
Giggist
Poet.
Loves
Mozerella cheese
Mee sua
Meiji plain crackers.
Music
Screamm
Guitars
Drumming
Singing
Rocking out.
Chilling at Starbucks/Spinelli
Goofing around.
Black eyes.
Black nails.
Black heart.
Hates
Cucumbers
Dog food.
Posers
heart breakers.
YOU.
Unconditional Desires.
My own Orange County Drumset.
To get my diploma in music next year.
Learn double pedals.
Get Married.
Get my future parents in laws to like me.
The endless connections.
Mix the words up.
You have my thanks.
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Base codings and inspiration courtesy of Hilary, from her skin take to the sky.
Picture belongs to muszka of Devianart, added, by eclair-x, with thinking bubble and text.
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